you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
