after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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