so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize