You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
