you're like a bully in the Christmas story
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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