I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
The air taste purple.
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