i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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