you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
