shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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