I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
