I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
