You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i just google imaged poop.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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