Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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