Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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