ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
MIDGETS
????
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
