Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
