A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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