look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
