Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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