tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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