I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
