We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
