i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
