he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
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