I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
