i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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