I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
