We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
