the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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