Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
