you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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