If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
