I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
