She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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