Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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