i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize