high people should be assigned attendants
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
