I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
