You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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