I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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