She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
the liver wants what the liver wants
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
