Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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