Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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