The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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