bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize