don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
