so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
