What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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