he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Randomize
