A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Randomize
