My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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