its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
