he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
