i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
handjob tips. give me some.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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