did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize