i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We have so much sex to catch up on
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
