Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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