Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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