The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
