You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
