i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
