Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
