I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize