I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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